Life lessons in business: Emotional health

I own an office/warehouse a few miles from my house. I had that building built for Vitabase about ten years ago and leased it out after I sold Vitabase.

One of the tenants in that space is leaving in a few months so yesterday, I went into the building again for the first time in a few years to inspect it. And as I walked through, I have to admit I got emotional.

There is a reason why some say that building a business is like raising a child. It can be a brutal endeavor, full of highs and lows, frustrations and triumphs. I felt all those things as I went from room to room. I walked into my old office and remembered big wins and big losses. I walked into other offices and remembered the people that worked there, the friendships and sometimes the conflicts. And I walked back out into the warehouse and saw where the essence of our business, the inventory, used to reside on neat rows of shelves. That seemed to be the most peaceful place in the building even though it was the most busy.

As those memories flooded back, very honestly, it was a bittersweet feeling. I think most business owners would say something similar about looking back. The truth is that building a business is fun and rewarding but it is also very painful and above all, emotionally draining.

It is emotionally draining because sometimes you try dozens of ideas in a row and none of them work.

It is emotionally draining because people (especially employees) are often emotionally draining.

It is emotionally draining because you have to watch numbers to know what is working but those numbers jump around from good to bad on a daily basis and drag you along for the ride.

It is emotionally draining because you have no one to pass the buck to. It all stops with you.

It is emotionally draining because if you are honest with yourself, building a business puts your flaws on full display and you probably won’t like a lot of what you see.

It is emotionally draining because very often, your family sacrifices in some ways while you pursue your business and you cannot tell them for sure that the end result will be worth it.

It is emotionally draining because you are learning on the fly, hoping to learn fast enough to survive but sometime not sure if you can.

There is simply not much of a place in the world of building businesses for people that are not emotionally strong. Emotionally fragile people will eventually crack under the pressure and burn relationships or take foolish risks. Sometimes, they get desperate and stray from the legal side of the tracks. Sometimes, they lose their families because they are incapable of leaving the pressure behind at the office.

Let me give you a few thoughts about how to cope with the emotional demands of a business:

• Don’t call it failure. Call it experimentation. If you are going to grow, you are going to have to try things and I can tell you right now that most of those things will not work. That is the nature of trying new things and you are going to have to be able to accept that. You can’t label yourself a failure just because an idea doesn’t work or even if ten ideas in a row don’t work. You just have to cheerfully get back on the horse and try something else.
• Watch numbers from a big picture perspective as much as possible. Some people are in businesses where they have to look at sales every day. If you have to, you have to. After all, numbers are important. But in general, you will be more emotionally healthy if you can insulate yourself from the brutal but normal small swings in your business. Those ebbs and flows drain you. Monthly numbers are more important than daily numbers and daily numbers are more important than hourly numbers. Don’t let yourself get yanked around emotionally because of a bad day of sales if the monthly numbers are good.
• Take pressure off yourself by avoiding leverage/debt. I have talked about this already in previous posts in this series but just want to mention it again. If you want a more relaxed and emotionally healthy life, probably the most important thing you can do is avoid the crushing pressure of debt.
• Accept your imperfections but work on yourself. Find mentors to talk to. Take classes. Read. The truth is you need to work on yourself just like you need to work on your business. It is a lot easier to accept your failures if you are resolved to work on them. Sometimes the best way to grow a business is to grow yourself.
• Be content. Entrepreneurs are just not content people. When their business grows to $10K/month, they want $20K/month. When it gets to $20K/month, they set their sights on $50K/month. I am not going to tell you not to be that way because that kind of drive is probably necessary, and frankly, I am the last person on earth that has the right to lecture any entrepreneur in this area. However, I would tell you to balance drive with contentment as much as you can. When you hit a goal, relax a bit before focusing on the next goal. Learn to celebrate successes without caveat.

Emotional health is the thing about being an entrepreneur that no one considers. Yes, it is great to be your own boss and have lots of upward potential. Yes the flexibility is nice. However, if you are not careful, the emotional weight of the business will far out shadow the benefits. Be ready for that going in.