Feeling like a beginner

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I have a piano lesson once a month for two hours.  I went yesterday and came away feeling a bit discouraged at how much I need to learn.

I wonder if there are any pianists who feel that they know everything they need to.  I suppose some do–especially the ones who have no passion for getting better.  But I have never met someone I respect as a pianist that thinks he/she has arrived.  The best pianists I know are far beyond me but yet feel they have a long way to go.

Yesterday, I played through several of my arrangements for my upcoming Christmas CD.  I am starting to like some of them and thought my teacher might as well.  I was wrong…

As it turns out, thirty years after starting to play the piano, I still have rhythm problems especially with syncopation.  I still having voicing problems too.  I won’t bore you with my other problems.

Suffice it to say that I have a long way to go if I am going to make that Christmas CD credible, and I have a whopping three months to do it.

As I have mentioned before, this project is a real stretch for me.  I am doing some things that I have never attempted to record before.  Much of it is a huge departure from my comfort level and what I am used to.  Frankly, the whole concept of playing “in time” is a stretch for me.

Today is a better day.  I am sitting here listening to yesterday’s lesson and I think I can do it (with a lot of work).  The studio is already booked for mid September, so I have a hard deadline.

I said all that to say this.  If you are overwhelmed by how much you need to learn and improve, you are not alone.  It is just part of being an artist.  Regardless of how far you go, you will still feel that way.

Is this kind of discontent wrong or unhealthy?  I think not, but let me know what your opinions are.