Attitude checkup

I have been involved in church music for 30 years.  Back when I was just eight, my brothers and I backed up the main pianist in our tiny church when she was late or absent.  I can’t remember how she played and I barely remember what she looked like.  But there was one thing I remember very well…

My brothers and I hated filling in for her.  Why that was I don’t remember.  But we did not want to do it.  And we started noticing that we were playing more and more because she was coming in late more and more often.  Eventually we began to suspect that she was coming in late on purpose to avoid playing.  We were right about that by the way; later, she admitted that she would sometimes stay in the car until the service started because she liked to hear us play.

I laugh to this day when I remember what my oldest brother used to do.  At the age of 10, when she walked in late, he would turn around on the piano and glare at her as she walked from the back of the auditorium to her seat.  Somehow my parents missed this or they would have slapped him silly.

What I was observing in that glare was the budding of the major plague of church pianists: attitude problems.  

From there, let’s fast forward 60 years to the point at which a church pianist is still playing, and now, presumably, a mature, wise expert.  I speak to pianists in that category all the time.  And I can assure you that they haven’t conquered attitude issues either.  Frankly, they are often much worse.  One 60-something pianist recently told me that he rues the day his parents made him learn to play piano.    His complaints were numerous: not getting to play offertories, the church letting children play offertories even when they are still beginners, wrong styles of music, and on and on.  I got tired just listening to him.  But while he seems like an extreme example of an attitude gone bad, I can assure he is not that unusual.

I can pretty much guarantee that you are not a bitter, disgruntled pianist or you wouldn’t be reading this blog.  Church pianists with attitudes are not normally interested in learning anything.  But I do want to warn you to keep a watchful eye on this area of your life.  If you see a problem, take the sage advice of Barney Fife: “Nip it in the bud.”  In other words, catch yourself when you start going down a wrong road.

You will have legitimate concerns by the way.  Sometimes, your church might put demands and pressure on you that they don’t have the right to do.  Sometimes they will forget that you are a spouse and a parent and work a full time job.  Sometimes, you will find yourself working with musicians who don’t care as much as they should.  Sometimes, you will not like the music.  Sometimes, you will be playing too much.  Sometimes, you will not be playing enough.  Sometimes, you will just be bored or tired.

I know about all these things because I have experienced them.  And frankly, I am preaching a bit to myself here.  I struggle with this issue of attitude too.  

Having a good attitude is not about being a doormat.  It does not mean you can’t say no when you need to.  For example, in my case, it means leaving orchestra before the rehearsal ends on Wednesday nights to get my kids in bed at a reasonable time.  The director knows I will probably do that and he understands.  But let’s say you are in the same situation but your director does not understand.  You should still leave if you feel you need to (assuming you are a volunteer).  You can say no with a good attitude.  Any church leader that tries to tell you otherwise is wrong.  Any church leader that tries to control you with guilt is wrong.

Sometimes, you might need to address issues with church leadership.  Sometimes, you might just need to take a break.  But what you can’t do is let issues like that start changing your attitude.  If you do, you will take one more step from being a happy, content and useful church musician into a disgruntled and useless one.  After all, that sad transformation does not happen overnight.  Think Darth Vadar 🙂